Does counseling shorten the process of grieving?

    There was a time when it was popularly believed that counseling, either one-on-one or group settings, was preferred over no counseling at all.  It was believed that the process of grieving was shortened by this process compared to the time it took to recover alone.  But, recent research indicates that it is unlikely that there is any shortening of the grieving process via counseling.  It seems that it takes just about as long with counseling as it does without.  So, if time is not the issue, what else might be?

    There is the possibility that a counselor, or group counseling setting, might help grieving persons make healthier adjustments and changes to their life via counseling as opposed to going it alone.  But, again, there is more to consider.  The nature of the adjustments are likely to be heavily influenced by the counselor and/or group.  I have read some short essays of how various mourners have come through the process, and I can only say: "Ooops!"  Some of the attitudes I read about were a bit horrifying and surely detrimental.  I would not want anyone I care about who is grieving to be under the influence of those individuals.

    So, for the time being, I am suggesting to those who seek "grief recovery" counseling from me to instead seek out someone who has walked the road of grief and finished with the kind of spirit and orientation that they desire in their own life.  After locating one or two such persons, they should invite them to be their soul mate during their time of grieving.  This can also be done using books or recordings, but it is more difficult to assess the character of an author of a short story than to do so for someone at hand.

    In the belief that counseling was the better avenue, I have counseled several survivors over the years and not found the sessions to have any effect on the time it takes to recover, but to have effect on such things as irrational guilt, anger, and co-dependency issues.  If time is an unchangeable parameter, and the mourner is primarily concerned with the time required for recovery, why shouldn't mourners save their money earmarked for counseling and instead develop some relationships that could promote positive character traits that last a lifetime?