A few years ago my wife, Barbara, and I faced an agonizing decision. One of our daughters, Rebecca, was involved in gymnastics and doing well. As her level of skill increased, however, she was expected to spend more and more time at the gym. We became concerned because she was spending less and less time with her family.

Barbara and I realized we had come to a crossroads. In a year Rebecca would turn 13, and we consider that last year before adolescence crucial for building character and preparing for the pressures and choices kids face as teenagers.

So, after much time in prayer, desiring the Lords best for our daughter, Barbara and I pulled Rebecca out of gymnastics. While we would not argue with a parent who made the opposite decision, the point I want to make is that we had a vision for the type of woman Rebecca could become C a woman who would walk with God and make an impact for Christ. And we believed the best place for her to learn, grow and mature toward that vision was not in a gymnasium but in our home.

Was it tough to do this? You bet it was. But I would do it again in a heartbeat. Today Rebecca is a teenager who is handling the challenges of adolescence. Time she would have spent at the gym was spent instead with Barbara and me, building her character and preparing her for the various pressures and choices that she is facing today.

That’s the type of vision I want to pass on to parents today: Children are a high and holy calling. They are the legacy we leave to the next generation. As J.W. Whitehead, director of the Rutherford Institute, said in The Stealing of America, AChildren are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.@

We all know the last words of Christ before He ascended to heaven C the Great Commission of Matthew 28:18-20, where He commands us to Amake disciples of all the nations.@

In another passage God lays out one important part of His plan to fulfill that commission. Psalm 78:56 (Living Bible) reads:

AFor He gave His laws to Israel, and commanded our fathers to teach them to their children, so that they in turn could teach their children too. Thus His laws pass down from generation to generation.@

God’s plan calls for the home to be a nurture center where children grow up learning godly character and biblical values that they can pass on to the next generation. AThe home is a laboratory where experiments are tried out,@ says Chuck Swindoll in The Strong Family. AIt is a place where life makes up its mind. The home is a place where a child is free to think, to talk, to try out ideas. In a scene like that, God fits very comfortably into the entire conversation.@

As a parent it’s so easy to get caught up in the pressures of daily living C changing diapers, ferrying kids to piano practice and Boy Scout meetings, and refereeing sibling disputes. From time to time we must look above all of this and remember that the most important work God has entrusted to us is that of teaching our children to know and love the Lord.

One of my favorite stories of a parent’s impact is about Margaret Everts, the daughter of a Chicago pastor in the mid-1800’s. Margaret married a young attorney, Elisha Mears, in 1869 and moved to Minneapolis. Her pastor there said of her: AIn intellect she had few equals C keen, inquiring, aggressive, confident. She literally reveled in the Word of God. . . . As a Bible teacher she had few equals in the city of Minneapolis. And in the >practice of the presence of God’ she had no superiors....@

Margaret’s youngest daughter, Henrietta, would find her mother in prayer early every morning and resolved to follow her footsteps. When Margaret died in 1910, the pastor turned to Henrietta, then 20, and said, AI hope the spiritual mantle of your mother will fall upon you.@ And indeed it did, for Henrietta Mears went on to become one of the most influential Christians in this century.

As Christian education director at First Presbyterian Church in Hollywood, Henrietta led thousands of young people to the Lord and encouraged hundreds from her collegiate department to enter full-time ministries around the world. Billy Graham called Henrietta Mears Aone of the greatest Christians I have ever known.@ She was also instrumental in leading Bill and Vonette Bright to Christ, building them in their faith, and helping them begin Campus Crusade for Christ. And Margaret never lived to see it.

If you, like Margaret Mears, are serious about raising children who are dedicated to the Lord and His ways, then I believe you must do three things:

First, if you are married, make a sacred commitment to your spouse. The greatest gift you can give your children is a marriage filled with love, commitment and security. Your marriage has to be built to outlast your kids. Your children need your devotion to your spouse even more than they need your devotion to them.

Second, determine what you believe. We hear a lot about Afamily values@ today, but many parents never have taken the time to determine the convictions, ideals and values they want to build into their children. The one non-negotiable value for a Christian parent to pass on is the need to know Jesus Christ personally and glorify Him through life. But beyond this, how do you live the Christian life? What character qualities are most important to you?

Whether you are married or a single parent, the greatest teaching instrument you have with your kids is your life. Your children are watching you, and chances are the quality of their Christian life will parallel yours. They will often adopt your values based not on what you say, but rather on how you live.

If you sense the need to spend some time determining your family values, you will enjoy the ACore Values Project@ on the next page. It’s the most popular project at our FamilyLife Parenting Conferences because it forces you to grapple with the issues and values you consider most important.

Finally, raise your kids with a sense of mission. I believe that many parents set their sights much too low when determining goals for their children and family. They work to give their kids the best education possible. They involve their children in athletics, music and a host of other activities. They want to raise intelligent and talented kids who will earn good salaries. But how many are praying that their kids will become missionaries? We are often so focused on worldly success that we can lose sight of why God has put us here C to glorify Christ and make Him known.

God wants to use your family and mine as strategic weapons in the spiritual battle for souls. My challenge to you is to move your family toward the smoke of the battleground. Encourage your children to reach out to their friends with the love of Christ. Train them to walk with God and minister to others. Take them with you on summer missions trips. The possibilities are endless as long as you make your children a priority. Don’t shrink from the battle.

You may find yourself thinking, I’ve made too many mistakes, and I’m just trying to survive, much less lead my family into spiritual battle. And now I’m supposed to be concerned about my spiritual legacy?

The prophet Jeremiah said: AAh Lord God! Behold, Thou hast made the heavens and the earth by Thy great power and by Thine outstretched arm! Nothing is too difficult for Thee@ (Jeremiah 32:17). And look at Psalm 127:1: AUnless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.@

Barbara and I struggle as much as anyone else with feelings of inadequacy for the immense job of parenting. But we serve a great God who has created the institution of the family. He promises to give us His wisdom and power, through the Holy Spirit. He loves to respond to the prayers of a helpless parent!

With God’s empowering, you can raise your children not only to survive in this world, but to shape the future of our nation.

Dennis Rainey is executive director of FamilyLife, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ, in Little Rock, Ark. He and his wife, Barbara, have six children. They speak at FamilyLife Conferences worldwide. Dennis also hosts the daily radio program, AFamilyLife Today,@ heard on more than 88 stations by more than I million listeners.

Visit FamilyLife Today